What would I tell my 10 year old self today?
When I was 10, I was told a lot of different things from a lot of different people. One of the things that always comes straight to my mind is what one of my elementary school teachers told my mom. She called my mom on a Friday afternoon to inform her that she believes that I am slow. She wanted to put me on a ‘special’ program to help me do better in class. Some would think that this is completely understandable, but it wasn’t. She left my mom a voicemail with this information then refused to answer my mom’s hundreds of calls in return. It wasn’t until the next week that she explained that I don’t pay attention in class, I don’t answer the questions she asks me, and she doesn’t think I can hear her. So, I got a hearing test, turned out I had perfect hearing. The real reason why I didn’t want to answer her was because I was shy. That’s it. But, she still put me on this ‘special’ program. For instance, if I went off to ‘la-la land’ in class (got distracted) then I had to make a tally mark, if I was good that day then I got a sticker, and a lot more things along these lines. This teacher made me believe that I was stupid. I literally still have nightmares about to this day. She humiliated me as a child and I carry it with me everyday.
This haunts me and I don’t know how I made it out of that class. But I want to give my 10 year old self some advice. You are smart. Who cares if you are quiet or too scared to speak in front of a class. You know you are smart and even though you were treated like you are stupid, you are smart. Don’t let people bring you down because they are not your biggest enemy, you are. If you start to believe that they are telling the truth, you will start telling yourself this. But don’t. You will do great things. I believe in you.
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