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#16

aconway17

This blog was an interesting experience. I had to do it for one of my classes, but it was honestly really fun. I loved to see all the places that people where from who were reading my posts. I really didn’t expect anyone to want to read it. Most times, this was just a source to rant about things that make me upset. But writing about things in an informal way was a new experience. The only time I ever write anything is for classes and I always have to keep those formal, but this is fun to type how I would talk.

When I first started blogging, I was having so much fun. Writing about things that stumped me or about what I was grateful for. Throughout my time doing this though, my inspirations for posts have gone down hill. Since I can’t really leave my house to do that much anymore, I haven’t had much to write about. Thus, my blogging has gotten more sloppy. But when I had something I wanted to write about it was always fun. I got to pick a fun picture to put on the top and write about things I really enjoyed to write about.

I’m not sure if I will continue to do this regularly after this, but maybe when life gets a little more interesting, this will be the perfect place to express what I want to express. This is because with the pandemic occurring and my state being in a stay at home order, I haven’t had much creativity to put into this blog. Nonetheless, this has been a good experience. I’ve never done anything like this before and I think it is a great idea to either check up on students and notice how their social emotional behavior is and so much more. I’m not sure if I’d be able to use this when I’m a math teacher, but I would love to incorporate this somehow. Anyways, thank you for reading.

#15

aconway17

Since the stay at home order has begun, it has given me way too much time to think. Honestly I’m kind of sick of my own thoughts, but that’s unrelated. I’ve decided that once this quarantine is over I’m going to get a tattoo. Ok so this is kind of a pointless thing to blog about, but it is the only thing I’m even slightly excited about, so yeah. I’m still trying to finalize what I actually want to get, but every time I bring up an idea to my parents, they always say, is that what you want to have on your body for the rest of your life. Being an indecisive person it scared me to get something that will be on my body for the rest of my life, but honestly that’s ok with me. I want to get something that means a lot to me, like most people think when they get a tattoo. So, it’s cliche, but I probably want to get something about nature or my dogs. Just something small and simplistic that I know I’ll love. I don’t really know this just seems like something that could be fun. If I end up chickening out of that I know I’ll probably just get another piercing. I don’t have that many piercings. Like I literally have five, but every time I even whisper the idea of getting another piercing my dad just goes into a long rant about how I will never get a job with so many pieces of metal sticking out of my face. I always try to counter with, all my piercings are in my ear, I can take them out, and so much more along those lines. But then again, I didn’t really tell him about the other piercings I got, so I kind of get why he’s giving me so many lectures now. But every time I open my mouth about piercings or tattoos, one or both of my parents seem to just have to give me a lecture about ‘the consequences’. Times are changing and it is ok to have things on your body that maybe your parents might not get.

#14

aconway17

There isn’t enough time in the day. I wish there were more hours in a day, more sunlight, just more time. I don’t get that much sleep most nights. Partly because of my insomnia, but also because I just tend to wake up earlier than most people my age. One of my brothers, who is just two years older than me, can actually sleep into late in the afternoon. Today I woke up at five in the morning. It’s snowing today, so it’s not like I’d be able to go outside, which is what I was hoping for, but I get to see the sun rise although it was covered by clouds. I have a lot of school work due today as well, and of course at this point I’m kind of procrastinating. I have thirteen math assignments due today, a test in one of my other math classes, and classes on top of that. I think it’s really funny how even though I’m not on campus anymore, some teachers are giving us more work than we would be doing in an in person class. For instance, in one of my math classes, I have another test tomorrow and on top of that my professor uploaded a lecture that he also expects us to watch. So, when in our in person class, we would take the class period to take the test and not have a lecture, my professor puts up a lecture for our not in person class. I’m just confused how the same expectations aren’t being followed in some of my classes. All of my other classes are being very lenient and understand that this is a hard time right now and for some, school might not be their first priority. Many things that I used to put at the top of my to do list are now towards the bottom because I have other things to worry about. One thing is that everyday now I have to walk to neighbor’s dog. My neighbor is elderly and not doing very well health-wise right now with the pandemic, so my family is trying to help out as much as possible. But the good thing is that he is doing better by allowing himself to get more rest while my mom helps him more than I ever could. These times are scary and appreciate how understanding all of my professors are being right now. So, even though I have a lot to do today in online school, I have other obligations outside that sadly come first. It was a running joke in my apartment at school that I put my class work above everything, even my health. I would pull all-nighters constantly to make sure I was studying all that I could before my next test or read the book that I had been putting off for my history because the thought of reading it was increasing my anxiety. But now, my anxiety is more centered elsewhere and so school is a distraction from the outside world. I’m scared to look at the news, go on social media, and more because it hurts my heart to see how many people are affected by what is going on. So, I wish there was more time in the day, even if it was one minute, I could use that one minute. I could use it as a distraction from my life and focus on something that doesn’t matter nearly as much as everything else. One more minute to see the sun before the stars shine through the night sky. One more minute to be with the people I love and never want to lose. One more minute to give my dog a belly rub. Just a little more time to do something I love with no worries. But this can’t happen, so we have to keep on moving and prevail.

#13

aconway17

I think it’s funny how everyone has a favorite season. Like my favorite season with no debate is fall. I just really like how the whether is transitioning from summer to winter and it’s the perfect temperature outside. Though I’m not the biggest fan of fall holidays, I always cheat and start Christmas early. So, most people I talk to usually say that fall or summer is their favorite seasons, but I have only heard a few people say spring or winter. Right now we’re technically in spring time, but yesterday is was sixty and sunny, but three days ago it was in the thirties. I don’t really understand why the weather fluctuates so much. But spring is nice because all the flowers are blooming and everything is turning green again. I absolutely love nature. It’s probably one of my favorite things in the world. Like humans hurt the environment so much by throwing plastic in oceans, taking down forests to put up buildings, and so much more, but nature always gives us the gift of beauty. We really don’t deserve the beauty in nature from what we do to the environment, but I am grateful that colorful flowers and the green trees keep coming back. My family is doing a lot of renovations in our house right now. Partly due to us being stuck in our house with nothing else to do and also partly because my parents have scheduled these renovations months ago. So, it’s perfect timing that we stuck in the house with all this going on. Anyways, my dad had to go to Home Depot to get some supplies and asked me to come with him. It’s funny how he always asks me to go with him since we are definitely the two most indecisive people ever. We literally spent thirty minutes just trying to pick a door stopper because we couldn’t decide which would be the best color. But honestly it was one of the first times I had really left the house in a while and when we were there, they had a lot of plants. So, of course I had to get some. I ended up getting two little succulents and they are the cutest things ever! It is just a little way to brighten up the day in a world that is not in the best situation. So, nature is there even though we don’t deserve it and I hope the seasons continue to make everyone a little happier too.

#12

aconway17

What should I do today? This is the new question I’ve been asking myself since being home with not much to do. It usually ends up with me saying that I’m going to do school that day and instead I’m on my phone all day and then usually at ten o’clock at night I start doing school stuff. I love mornings and am usually so much more productive then, but my house has been under construction for the past two weeks and will be under construction for the next couple of weeks. So, every morning instead of waking up gradually around seven o’clock, I usually get started awake by a saw at seven o’clock.

But I’ve been trying to continue doing my everyday routine by getting up early, doing my school work, taking a break, and then doing my homework. The other day I did kind of go crazy though. I woke up and started to do my normal thing and then I realized it was mt dog’s birthday. I know I’ve been talking about my dogs way to much on this blog, but at this point they are the only rays of sunshine in my life. Well my dog, who I will always call my puppy, turned nine this week. So, I did the only sensible thing a dog-crazy person would do, I made my dog a cake. I honestly looked up dog cake online, picked the first one, and it was SO easy to make. As soon as it was cool and I decorated it (don’t worry, everything I put in it and on it was safe for my dog), I gave some to Piper. She was so happy that I was intentionally feeding her something that might not be the healthiest for her, but hey it’s her birthday. I even tried some of the cake too and honestly it wasn’t that bad. I made it with everything that was edible for humans and it just tasted like a peanut butter biscuit.

Then without being any less crazy, I made an invitation to my dog’s birthday party, yes I threw her a birthday party. And then sent it out to my family. I would have invited her friends too, but with my state in lock down I can’t. So, we had a black tie dinner for her and then we sung happy birthday, and then I gave her more of her cake. She was so cute as she went feral from eating the cake. She literally spent about the next twenty minutes licking the ground where the cake was to make sure she got all of it. But the hardest part was if we came even a foot away from her she would start growling making her that it was her cake. After a while she got over this phase and came over to me asking for more cake. I’m such a sucker for her puppy-dog eyes, that I totally wanted to giver her more, but my mom said no because Piper is supposedly on a diet. My mom has been wondering why it hasn’t been working as well and the answer is that everything I eat, Piper gets half of it. She’s just too cute, I can’t help it. In the end, I’m just really happy she liked her cake and it was a way to relieve my boredom for a day and a distraction from all the construction.

#11

aconway17

There are some days I miss my old dog more than others. Yesterday was one of those days, when the dog my family has now bit the living daylights out of my hand because she was hiding something from me under the couch. Well, to put it simply, I have four cuts on my hand now from her. So, I miss my old dog, because he would never have done something like this. He wasn’t always the nicest dog in the world and for a while, my older brother and I were scared of him. But after he started getting older, we realized he didn’t have much more time on their Earth and started to hang out with him more.

I remember one time when I think I was in fourth grade, Freddy was sitting in his favorite spot on the stairs and I was reading a book about dogs in the living room. I got up from the couch and sat next to him and we read together. It’s not something special or unique, but I miss these times where I could just be around him and pet him or just sit by him.

I liked the chill moments, but my dad’s favorite thing about Freddy is the fact that he could go on five miles walks in forest preserves if he wanted to. My dad would always drag all of us out on like a Saturday and go on big walks with him. I always hated these walks because I hate exercise, but that’s besides the point. Freddy was perfect to us, even if he wasn’t to everyone else.

When Freddy passed away, it was a hard time for my family. It wasn’t the first time I had experienced death of a loved one, but Freddy was my dog and I saw him every single day of my life until I didn’t anymore. But all dogs go to heaven. I don’t believe much in religion, but I do believe in that. Freddy went to heaven where my grandpa, great grandma, and her dog were waiting. I know they are all together looking down on us watching us get older. In this time, more of my family has gone up to heaven, but I know Freddy is welcoming them just like he did to every person that entered our house.

When we said goodbye to Freddy on his last day on Earth, it was hard for all of us. I don’t know if Freddy knew what was happening, but he was confused. We gave him brownies, steak, hot dogs, and everything he loved or could never have but always wanted. He was happy to be experiencing all these new things that I can say for sure he loved. But it is still hard to say goodbye to the ones you love. Freddy was sick and in constant pain, so we were doing the right thing, but that doesn’t make it any easier. But when I think back to him now, I said a ‘see you later’ to him, not a goodbye. Because one day I will get to see him again I am so excited to see him when I do.

#10

aconway17

I don’t like homework. This is honestly kind of funny because I want to be a teacher after college and will most likely give homework. The only reason I will be giving homework is because with math specifically, you need to practice to be able to understand the concepts. This by all means does not mean teachers should assign hours upon hours of homework a night because students need to have time to be themselves without freaking out about school work. My idea is that at most students should have a total of one hour of homework a night. I feel like that is reasonable as long as the student doesn’t procrastinate, it shouldn’t take that long. When I was in high school, my entire life revolved around school. Sure, I did two sports in high school with a total of eight seasons of sports and was at school some nights until 7 or 8. But I always spent most of my time doing homework. When I would get home, I would get to homework right away then usually go to bed around midnight. Then I would always wake up at 5 am to finish my homework. AND even then, I didn’t get around to doing every single thing of my homework. I just don’t understand why teachers think it alright to do this. I get that most teachers hand out a syllabus with all the homework for the entire year and ‘you can get a head start on it’, but should I spend ten hours one day ‘getting a head start’? The answer is no. Students need to chance to breath with confusing times in their lives. Like if their parents are getting divorced, they are going to therapy, they don’t live with their parents, they are sick, etc. I feel like most times teachers may have no idea what is going on at someone’s home, but thinks its alright that since they slept in class to give them another assignment, where they might not have a bed to sleep in at night. And then another situation comes up when students are now in college. I’m not sure this is a hundred percent correct, but I remember one of my professors last semester that every hour we have of class we should spend two hours doing homework and/or studying. So, right now I am taking eighteen credit hours. So I guess that means outside of these seven classes I am taking (one of them is zero credit hours, but still I attend every week [or at least until my school shut down]) I should be doing thirty-six hours of studying/homework. Now, let’s think about it mathematically (lol I’m a math major). If I’m spending eighteen hours in class every week with thirty-six hours on top of that studying, I am spending 54 hours a week on school. So, how much time does that leave for me? Let’s think about it again, there are 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week so, there are one hundred and fourteen hours for me. But, that seems like a lot, let’s account for sleep. People say that adults need about 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night. So, lets take the average and we get eight. So, if I have one hundred and fourteen hours to myself, but need 56 hours of sleep a week, I have 58 hours to myself. But, that still seems like too much. It feels like too much because most students are involved with clubs, sports, etc. on campus or in their school to stay involved and meet people. Sometimes, people join these things to add to their applications, so that they have a chance of impressing a college showing what they can bring to their school. So, right now I am involved in three clubs. It takes up about 6-9 hours a week. Let’s take the average again, so that’s about 7.5 hours. So, in total we have about 50.5 hours to yourself. OH WAIT! There’s still this funny thing called being healthy. If I need thirty minutes of physical activity a day and eating a meal takes twenty minutes, then I have forty hours a week to myself. This is less than two days, while spending all my time towards school takes more than two days. I understand that I am paying for this education and I want it, but why do I need to spend thirty-six hours out of class working on class work? One of my professors only assigns one homework assignment a week that usually takes me an hour in total and I am doing the best in this class compared to all my others. I should have time to be myself without worrying about every little thing in school. Students can’t be bombarded with work because then they won’t complete it and then they’ll be doing even worse than where they would normally be because sadly enough homework is usually a big part of grades. My teachers in high school claimed it was a way to earn easy points to help boost your grade, but all I thought about it was that it took me hours on end to earn twenty percent of my grade, but tests were usually forty percent, so was it really helping? There is a large debate on whether or not homework should be a thing for students anymore. And frankly I don’t know what should happen. I do know that elementary school students should not have homework. They can have out of school work with their parents like making dinner to teach them about fractions or something fun along those lines, but homework when you’re five is detrimental because for some reason it always seems to end in the child or parent crying. In middle school, it should be introduced, but maybe not have homework every night. Then in high school it should grow because students need to become more independent learners, but again not bombard them with hours upon hours a night of homework. So, this was a rant session and I’ll be surprised if anyone made it this far, but I am just sick of homework. So, I want to say here that I will not assign one hundred problems of math as homework when I am a teacher, but maybe ten good ones that surround the lessons that were taught that day. Homework just needs to go away. Thank you.

#9

aconway17

I have been at home for the last two weeks due to the pandemic occurring in the world right now. So I have been trying to keep myself busy. The first thing I did was redo my room by painting it then rearranging my furniture. But after that I didn’t really know what to do other than go on social media and watch hours of TV that I am sure have definitely rot my brain. I had to read a book for my history class I’m currently taking, but I did not want to read it, even if it did seem a little interesting. Whenever someone plops something down in front of me and says that I have to do it, it seems about sixty percent less exciting to do. So, while I was procrastinating reading this book, I rearranged my bookshelf that I have in my room and I realized I had gotten a couple books over winter break that I hadn’t had the chance to read yet. So I pulled out one of them and started reading it in the morning and finished it that night. I get very sucked into books because sometimes I want to be a world that isn’t my own for a couple hours. The book I read was in my favorite series and it definitely was not the best book in the series, but it was good and still has my mind on it right now. I can’t wait to read the next book just to see how the author plans to figure everything out that is happening with the main character at the end of the last book.

After I read this book I continued on with another. Again, procrastinating reading the book I actually had to read. Eventually when I was a couple chapters in, I finally decided to read the book that I needed to read for my history class. As I was working up to reading it I was dreading every minute of it. I did not like the book and just didn’t want to read it, even if at first I thought it would be interesting. When I was buying the book for this class I looked at reviews that people gave and everyone was saying along the same things, that it is one of the best books they have ever read. So, automatically I was going in with an idea that this was just going to be a fantastic book, but I always forget to determine what type of books these people truly enjoy reading. I prefer to read books that are science fiction or romance. I enjoy a story line that I can think, dream, and expand on in my mind. This book that I had to read was historical fiction and it was based in a time period that was extremely discriminatory towards African Americans. When I read books with this premise, it just makes me sad and angry that people had the audacity to treat another human being like they were lesser simply because of the color of their skin. It was just hard to read something that caused people pain because there was a racial hierarchy in this time period and I never want to return to this way of life. I read science fiction or romance novels about a world that is not our own most of the time, or at least not what my world feels like. So, I feel like I can escape what may be happening in my life and enjoy reading something happy and uplifting. I don’t really know what this blog post is really about. I think I have just had so much social distancing that this is the first time I have had the chance to speak about something other than how I want to return to my school in Ohio so badly. So a distraction of books or redecorating is my way of escaping from the reality that is going on today and I am grateful for these resources.

#8

aconway17

Dogs are a mans best friend. This saying is so true, but it doesn’t apply just to men. My dogs are my best friends too.

Growing up, I had a dog named Freddy. He was a big, fluffy, protective friend. He was my parents ‘first child’ as they always say. When I was born he was turning four. So he was in my life from the very start. My mom said that he would try to play with my brother and I when we lived in our tiny apartment in Chicago. He always wanted to know what we were doing and help us get into a little more trouble. I feel like he was that older brother to pushed you to go further and ended up getting in a lot of trouble with mom. Soon we moved to the suburbs of Chicago and Freddy had a yard to run around in and sun bathe all day. There is still one spot in our backyard that will always be known as Freddy’s spot. But as we all started to get older, Freddy did too. He began to not want to play with my brothers and I anymore and wanted to sit with my mom all day. In his last days, he was always loyal to my mom. She was his person. Even though I consider Freddy to be one of my best friends, my mom is Freddy’s best friend. On his last day on this Earth she spoiled him by giving him so many hot dogs, a steak, ice cream, brownies, and everything else he could never eat. We said goodbye in his spot in the backyard. We wanted him to be at home in his favorite place even when he was not doing to well. But he went out as the best big brother ever.

A year after Freddy passed away we adopted Piper. She’s a rescue dog, so we really don’t know hat type of dog she is. But we do know that she has so much energy. Next month she is turning nine, but she still thinks she’s a puppy whenever we play together. I love that about her though. She’s always been the same, but she’s just gained a little weight. She may not be as nice as Freddy was whenever we gave him a full day of laying on him, some days if we get too close to piper she bites. So she’s by far not the best dog. But when she has her good days, she is the one I want to be around all day. Like how Freddy had his spot outside, Piper is a little different and decided that she spot is my brother’s bed, where she can still sun bathe all day. I love sun bathing with her sometimes because she’s a very good cuddle buddy. My absolute favorite thing about her though is how she greats us. Whenever we get home, she wiggles her whole body and she comes to the door and won’t let us leave her side until she gets her scratches behind the ear. She’s beginning to be an old lady, but right now she’s the cutest old lady.

In the end, Freddy and Piper are not the best dogs in the world, but they are the best dogs to me. They are my family because of how much love I have for them. They never forget to show their love too. Freddy walks with me everyday within my heart and someday the same will go for Piper. Dogs really are our best friends and it makes all the different.

#7

aconway17

People are mean. It’s as simple as that. I hate when you think someone is your friend, but as soon as something doesn’t go their way, they throw you under the bus. Sadly I have had this happen to me more than once. In middle school, high school, and now in college. I am a very trusting person and let me guard down very easily. I think, oh this time will be different and they are going to stand by my side, but they never do. Now because this has happened so much, I have a harder time making friends and now I have to be careful what I say around everyone. I enjoy telling people what’s going on in my life to hear what advice they would give or just to let them know all of the dumb bitch moments I have. But now I can’t do this. I have to pretend like something huge didn’t just happen in my life and go about my day not telling anyone.

The only person I can actually tell anything to is my roommate. She is going to be a psychologist so she likes to say that she is practicing her confidentiality agreement now. I think it’s funny that she wants to start doing this now, but I can really trust her. I know that if I am having an awful day, I can tell her about it and she won’t tell our other roommates. Or if I’m crying in our room and she walks in I can tell her what some mean girl said to me and know she won’t repeat it to anyone. Friends like her are hard to come by and I don’t ever want to lose her. She is the greatest friend I have ever had and I am so grateful for her. I try to be there for her too, but I am not the greatest at comforting people. But I think she sees that I’m trying. So, our friendship stays strong.

What’s funny is that I had every intention to write this post about something this really mean girl said to me the other day and made me cry. But this has honestly turned into an appreciation post for my best friend. She will never know how truly important she is in my life and I will never be able to show how grateful I am. I am so happy that the first day of college I started talking to her randomly during our first hall meeting, but in that moment I made a friendship that will last a life time. I can already tell you that this girl will be attending my future wedding, future baby shower, and all the big (and hopefully small) moments. And I want to be there for all of her moments as well. I still hate people, but I love this girl like no other!