Tag: grateful

#13

aconway17

I think it’s funny how everyone has a favorite season. Like my favorite season with no debate is fall. I just really like how the whether is transitioning from summer to winter and it’s the perfect temperature outside. Though I’m not the biggest fan of fall holidays, I always cheat and start Christmas early. So, most people I talk to usually say that fall or summer is their favorite seasons, but I have only heard a few people say spring or winter. Right now we’re technically in spring time, but yesterday is was sixty and sunny, but three days ago it was in the thirties. I don’t really understand why the weather fluctuates so much. But spring is nice because all the flowers are blooming and everything is turning green again. I absolutely love nature. It’s probably one of my favorite things in the world. Like humans hurt the environment so much by throwing plastic in oceans, taking down forests to put up buildings, and so much more, but nature always gives us the gift of beauty. We really don’t deserve the beauty in nature from what we do to the environment, but I am grateful that colorful flowers and the green trees keep coming back. My family is doing a lot of renovations in our house right now. Partly due to us being stuck in our house with nothing else to do and also partly because my parents have scheduled these renovations months ago. So, it’s perfect timing that we stuck in the house with all this going on. Anyways, my dad had to go to Home Depot to get some supplies and asked me to come with him. It’s funny how he always asks me to go with him since we are definitely the two most indecisive people ever. We literally spent thirty minutes just trying to pick a door stopper because we couldn’t decide which would be the best color. But honestly it was one of the first times I had really left the house in a while and when we were there, they had a lot of plants. So, of course I had to get some. I ended up getting two little succulents and they are the cutest things ever! It is just a little way to brighten up the day in a world that is not in the best situation. So, nature is there even though we don’t deserve it and I hope the seasons continue to make everyone a little happier too.

#7

aconway17

People are mean. It’s as simple as that. I hate when you think someone is your friend, but as soon as something doesn’t go their way, they throw you under the bus. Sadly I have had this happen to me more than once. In middle school, high school, and now in college. I am a very trusting person and let me guard down very easily. I think, oh this time will be different and they are going to stand by my side, but they never do. Now because this has happened so much, I have a harder time making friends and now I have to be careful what I say around everyone. I enjoy telling people what’s going on in my life to hear what advice they would give or just to let them know all of the dumb bitch moments I have. But now I can’t do this. I have to pretend like something huge didn’t just happen in my life and go about my day not telling anyone.

The only person I can actually tell anything to is my roommate. She is going to be a psychologist so she likes to say that she is practicing her confidentiality agreement now. I think it’s funny that she wants to start doing this now, but I can really trust her. I know that if I am having an awful day, I can tell her about it and she won’t tell our other roommates. Or if I’m crying in our room and she walks in I can tell her what some mean girl said to me and know she won’t repeat it to anyone. Friends like her are hard to come by and I don’t ever want to lose her. She is the greatest friend I have ever had and I am so grateful for her. I try to be there for her too, but I am not the greatest at comforting people. But I think she sees that I’m trying. So, our friendship stays strong.

What’s funny is that I had every intention to write this post about something this really mean girl said to me the other day and made me cry. But this has honestly turned into an appreciation post for my best friend. She will never know how truly important she is in my life and I will never be able to show how grateful I am. I am so happy that the first day of college I started talking to her randomly during our first hall meeting, but in that moment I made a friendship that will last a life time. I can already tell you that this girl will be attending my future wedding, future baby shower, and all the big (and hopefully small) moments. And I want to be there for all of her moments as well. I still hate people, but I love this girl like no other!

#2

aconway17

I am a pessimist at heart. I’ve never had a problem with it before, but when it truly started affecting my mental health I decided I need to try and stop. Being a pessimist, to me, means that I am viewing the world realistically and not trying to see the good in everything because maybe there isn’t. But a couple years ago I went through the hardest time in my life (so far) because of what a few mean girls did. I fell into a depression that lasted multiple months and couldn’t get myself out of it. After a lot of therapy (and when I say a lot I mean 4 therapists over the span of five years) I was able to control the depression more and keep myself out of it, but this also led to different mental blocks. I quickly developed an anxiety disorder that feels like it has halted my life, OCD (I’ve kind of always had this since I was a kid, but it grew with the other mental stuff), and another thing that I don’t really want to put out on the internet, but lets just say I can’t control my emotions. So after discovering I had these, I went on medication to help. But I still wasn’t looking at the world positively and this continues to affect the stand still of my mental health because it isn’t improving. So, my most recent therapist recommended that I keep record of things that I am grateful for so I can try to change my outlook on life. So that’s what I’m doing. Every so often I want to try to think about things I am grateful for. Whether it be something as simple as breathing today or something weird like math compasses because they’re really fun to draw arcs with in my geometry class. I want to try to change my outlook on life to help me believe that I can do this through gratefulness.