#4

Sometimes life is the worst. I really wish everything would just go how I planned it. Like remembering to write these posts. I thought this would be a great way to help me express my thoughts, even if it is to people that I can’t see. But this is turning out to be harder than expected. Stress has been a daunting thing in my life. I have been struggling with understanding how to control it, but somehow cannot succeed. I have taken on a little bit more than I can chew this semester. I have decided to take on eighteen credit hours when I have never done this, got involved with two new clubs, and started an officer position in my sorority. I thought this would be a great way to immerse myself within the University of Dayton community and become more connected with people. I planned it out to be this glamorous experience that I would be so proud of myself for doing. But so far it is turning out to be the opposite. I am having a hard time trying to decide where and how to spend my time. I think of myself and holding school to a higher standard considering the fact that I want to become a teacher, but this priority has seemed to lesson this semester. I am disappointed that I have allowed this to happen and it needs to change. I have been giving more time to my sorority, the clubs I’m a part of, and overall allowing myself to stress out. This isn’t how I want my college experience to go. I wish it would go how I planned it all out in my head. To get a 4.0 GPA, succeed in my position in my sorority, volunteer around the city, have fun with friends, and so much more. But realistically this cannot happen. Life doesn’t work how you plan it and it is hard to accept this reality. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, but for some reason I am having a hard time believing that not doing well in school, being stressed out by something I used to enjoy, not getting along with roommates, and a lot more is for a reason. I just have to trust that everything will work out in the end, but we’ll see.