There isn’t enough time in the day. I wish there were more hours in a day, more sunlight, just more time. I don’t get that much sleep most nights. Partly because of my insomnia, but also because I just tend to wake up earlier than most people my age. One of my brothers, who is just two years older than me, can actually sleep into late in the afternoon. Today I woke up at five in the morning. It’s snowing today, so it’s not like I’d be able to go outside, which is what I was hoping for, but I get to see the sun rise although it was covered by clouds. I have a lot of school work due today as well, and of course at this point I’m kind of procrastinating. I have thirteen math assignments due today, a test in one of my other math classes, and classes on top of that. I think it’s really funny how even though I’m not on campus anymore, some teachers are giving us more work than we would be doing in an in person class. For instance, in one of my math classes, I have another test tomorrow and on top of that my professor uploaded a lecture that he also expects us to watch. So, when in our in person class, we would take the class period to take the test and not have a lecture, my professor puts up a lecture for our not in person class. I’m just confused how the same expectations aren’t being followed in some of my classes. All of my other classes are being very lenient and understand that this is a hard time right now and for some, school might not be their first priority. Many things that I used to put at the top of my to do list are now towards the bottom because I have other things to worry about. One thing is that everyday now I have to walk to neighbor’s dog. My neighbor is elderly and not doing very well health-wise right now with the pandemic, so my family is trying to help out as much as possible. But the good thing is that he is doing better by allowing himself to get more rest while my mom helps him more than I ever could. These times are scary and appreciate how understanding all of my professors are being right now. So, even though I have a lot to do today in online school, I have other obligations outside that sadly come first. It was a running joke in my apartment at school that I put my class work above everything, even my health. I would pull all-nighters constantly to make sure I was studying all that I could before my next test or read the book that I had been putting off for my history because the thought of reading it was increasing my anxiety. But now, my anxiety is more centered elsewhere and so school is a distraction from the outside world. I’m scared to look at the news, go on social media, and more because it hurts my heart to see how many people are affected by what is going on. So, I wish there was more time in the day, even if it was one minute, I could use that one minute. I could use it as a distraction from my life and focus on something that doesn’t matter nearly as much as everything else. One more minute to see the sun before the stars shine through the night sky. One more minute to be with the people I love and never want to lose. One more minute to give my dog a belly rub. Just a little more time to do something I love with no worries. But this can’t happen, so we have to keep on moving and prevail.
Abby's Blog 